Hi everyone! My name is Steve, but everyone calls me Douche. I live on Waterman St. on the East Side of Providence. I'm the guy at parties who always passes out first, leaving the rest of the guys to draw sexual slurs on my face with a Sharpie, stick tampons in my mouth and shove bottles into my ass. I'm not proud of this behavior, but somebody has to do it. AND it gets me invited to a massive amount of parties.

I'm looking for a young lady between the ages of 21-35 who can attend these parties with me and try and keep me from passing out. Do whatever it takes to do it. Poke me with a pencil, slap me across the face or twist my nipples really hard until I scream. If a square kick to the testicles doesn't do it, then it's too late. Just leave me be and let the animals ravage me.

I'm looking for a steady thing. Plan to attend LOTS of parties. Looks: Unimportant

Love,

Steve